My Little Maid

I got to sleep in today because the Woodward’s had to pick up a nurse at the airport. I took my time getting out of bed. I awoke an half hour before my alarm, but didn't get up until an half hour after. It was nice to finally rest the legs a little after that long journey through the city. I walked into the bathroom, as we all do at this time in the morning, only to discover that I had guest in the house. Most of us, at least those of us in the desert, are used to household visits in bathroom from our friendly neighborhood bugs. But of all the bugs I have ever seen in a bathroom, this was a first. A lizard. I sat pondering what to do. He was no larger than a quarter. A large spider would give him a fight he would probably lose. But for some reason squashing him just didn't seem right. It is customary, almost expected among arachnids that if they are got in the bathroom they end up in toilet paper and down the drain. I wondered if such customs held true of lizards in Africa? I pondered if I had it in me, to kill a lizard. The small reptile wasn't moving much, so maybe my job was already done. Could he have died there throughout the night? I didn't want to touch him, and didn't have any shoes on so I picked up a nearby empty toilette paper cardboard roll and gently tossed it towards the lizard. It bounced nearby. No movement. "It is dead," I thought, partly rejoicing that I did not have to smoosh him. But to be sure I started tapping the empty role nearby, hoping to startle movement. Nothing. That was why it surprised me to see it jump when I actually touched it with the cardboard. Not much, but enough to be sure that it was indeed alive. I looked closer and could see it breathing. It was suddenly very clear that we were both nervous. He knew his camouflage and small size, the natural defenses had failed him. Yet, he seemed confident and did not run. Almost as if he was unaware of my pondering to send him to a watery grave. This of course brought me back to my original predicament. Could I really kill a harmless lizard. But is it really harmless. What if it had diseases? Could it climb into my bed if I left it here? (I don't know why I always fear bugs in my bed, but I do). As the fear was building, I realized I would have to execute the trespasser. I pondered possible procedures which would avoid actually feeling the bones crunch and a mess on the floor. Starvation seemed possible. After all what would it eat in the house. If I did just leave it there, surely he would starve and die. No, there are too many bugs and flies in this house. He surely would not starve. It was this train of thought that lead to my ultimate conclusion. I realized that having a lizard in the house had many possible benefits. I was fairly sick of many of the bugs, the little ones, like fruit-fly size, that somehow had made it into the apartment. Having a pet lizard to roam about the house wasn't dangerous; it was like having a miniature little maid to clean up after the dirty little bugs. I didn't have to kill this guy, I should thank him. In fact, he probably knew he was helping me, that's why he was not scared. I stood up. My decision was made. I would get dressed, go to work, and let him tightly up the house while I was gone. Surely he would disappear into the cracks and follow the food back out from wense he came. With that, I left the bathroom, got dressed, and went to work.

I had forgotten all about my new maid by the time I made it home this evening. But he had not forgotten about me. When I walked into the bathroom there he was, right in the exact same spot. "Some maid" I thought. He had not even moved one inch. I was so puzzled by his activity that I decided it deserved a blog entry and some pictures. I went through the same thought process all over again. Tonight I would be a kind employer and give it another day. I took some water in my hands and created a small puddle on the floor next to him. I figured he would want to bathe or drink or something. With that I turned out the light. I assume he is still in there, probably sleeping. Maybe I'll see him in the morning. Hopefully he'll quit and go home. If I couldn’t kill him, how am I supposed to fire him?